There Must Be A Reason: From Bad Situation to God’s Best Provision

It was a long day for me. I’ve attended a half day meeting which was probably the reason why I felt dizzy on my way home. Thinking that I was just hungry, I went to Mcdo for a light dinner and after that, paid bills at 7/11. When I walked out from the store, it was already raining. I walked towards the bus terminal anyway, only to see a large crowd waiting for buses to come by and take them home. I don’t want to risk my health and so I called Rodzky, my boyfriend, to pick me up instead. I didn’t ask him directly though. I just said, “Baby san ka? Ang lakas ng ulan hindi ako makauwi”. And without hesitation, without thinking twice, he told me, “sunduin kita”. He didn’t mind driving under the heavy rain. When he saw me, I didn’t see a “napilitan” face. He didn’t yell at me (although he told me “kala ko maaga ka umuwi”). I didn’t see his face frowned, but instead, he embraced me. It may be a simple and normal act for some, but for me, it means a lot! Long story. My heart melts that compelled me to write this one.

Friends, this is actually the continuation of my previous article, How Do I Find Love.

Last year, very few people knew that I was sick. I had severe hair fall and unusual heart palpitations that led me to the Emergency Room (ER) THRICE. It was indeed a roller coaster ride. My cup overflows – work load, school deliverable, and yes, toxic relationship. I want to call it “emotional stress” rather than “depression”. I had trust issues. I felt some sort of betrayal and abandonment so I spoke only with very few people. I bid goodbye to socialization and became a loner. My life revolved and became limited to going to work and school, attending mass, and going home. I experienced self-pity and began asking myself, “pangit ba ko?”, “di ba ako karapat-dapat”, “Am I not enough?”….. I wept buckets! And one day, I woke up from that worst nightmare. God led me to a video I took on my birthday. It was an honoring message from my Action Group Leader in Pathways Smart, Ate Bless Bolante, who reminded me of WHO I AM. Immediately after, I recognized and heard God’s voice saying, I AM BEAUTIFUL. I AM WORTHY because Jesus died for me and my name is written in the palm of His hands. I AM HIS. I AM LOVED. And of course, I AM ENOUGH.

I got up from the bed, picked my broken pieces, and LET GO…..of what’s giving me a burden.

Blessings Come In Three

You should have the courage to let go. It’s easier said than done, I should know! It’s difficult and scary, but if something is already stealing the joy in your heart, is not making you healthy and fulfilled, check yourself because that may be the right time to open your hands and allow your burdens to fall slowly like grains of sands. From there, God will surely take over. He will extend His majestic hands to bring you up, wipe your tears, and embrace you like there’s no tomorrow. You will see a huge empty hole in your heart. You will struggle a lot of times when you’re trying to forget, and sometimes, you will feel some sort of regret. It will not be easy but I tell you, it’s worth it! Pain will always leave your heart tougher, stronger, and fearless.

Two weeks after I let go of the toxicity, I found a new job…it gave me the position and the compensations and benefits that I prayed for. God is faithful! He didn’t stop from there though. He gave our family the sweetest Christmas gift we could ever have – the gift of reconciliation. What a great way to celebrate Christmas and New Year!

Wait, Where is blessing #3?

Picking the Broken Pieces and Starting Anew       

No man is an island. I realized that God didn’t call me to hide, to be a loner, and anti-social. He instructed me to go out again, meet my friends, and recognize the people who, from the very beginning, are there, especially my family. I MISSED MYSELF! I missed laughing out loud. I missed sharing stories. God reminded me of my life verses:

Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. – Matthew 5:16

“Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” – Matthew 4:19

Friends, God is the god of surprises. Again, He didn’t stop.

I accepted the fact that it will take time for me to love again. I got a notebook and listed down the things that I want in my life while I am still single. I planned to buy a car, a condo, etc. I was too prepared for a single life! God, however, has a different plan….

One Friday morning, I got a friend request from a classmate in graduate school. We exchanged chat messages and the rest was history. He became a proof of the saying “Maghintay ka lang, darating din yan. Malay mo, nasa tabi-tabi lang.”

What’s in it for me? What Did I Learn?

• Choose yourself

You cannot give what you don’t have. Before you can give love to other people, you need to fill your love tank first. The way you love and treat yourself determines how others will love and treat you as well. You don’t deserve a half-hearted love because you are NOT cheap. Proof? Someone died for you because of His great love….Jesus.

• Do Not Be Afraid to Let Go.

The more you endure the pain the more you delay God’s grace to come upon you to make you joyful and FREE. Do not be afraid. God will surely turn your suffering to a sweet victory.

• Do Not Beg for Love

Love comes when you are ready. It comes at the right time, at the right moment, with the right person. When that happens, the right one will show you what it means to be loved and what it feels to receive the love that you deserve. The more time you spend with him, the more you will fall for Him, and the more you will glorify the Lord for knowing what’s best for His princess. He will not forget you. He is a promise-keeper!

• Everything Comes When You stop Looking For It

Just relax. Remain hopeful. Pray this, “Lord, surprise me”.

I don’t know how to explain this further, but I know that God will honor your patience in waiting. You only have to trust and to surrender. God will bless you more when you learn to trust and not when you complain.

• With the Right Person, Everything Comes Out Naturally

The right person will see you beyond how you see yourself. He will accept you as you are. You may not be perfect, but he will help you to become the better version of yourself. You may not agree on everything, but you’ll always meet half-way. Yung hindi pilit. Yung hindi nakaka-pressure.

For those of you who are asking, “may darating pa kaya?”, “makakahanap din kaya ako ng ganyang lalaki”, my answer will be, JUST PRAY and let the Lord do His works. If it happened to me and you’ve come across this article, God may be reminding you that ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE FOR THOSE WHO LOVE AND TRUST THE LORD. I declare that it will also happen to you because God has no favoritism. He always wants the best for us. He knows what/who will be best for us. He knows our deepest desires! Believe me, God will honor your patience and of course your obedience too! Ask, ask, ask! But while asking, do not forget to not just look and wait for the one, but prepare and do your best to be the right one.

Baby (Rodelbert Alvendia Lopez), you are my blessing #3. You are my answered prayer. Thank you for being the sweetest beginning of a never-ending love story. Every moment spent with you feels like a dream come true. Thank you for making me your princess.

I want to end this by this message from the Lord:

“Life is a game of chess. Half the time you move, half the time, it’s MINE.

The problem with people who are stuck is they’re waiting for me to move when, in fact, IT’S THEIR TURN.”