The Beauty of Singleness: A Journey of Self-Discovery and Preparation

After being married for three years, I feel that now is the right time to write again about maximizing your singleness while waiting for “the one”.With more confidence and credibility, I aim to share my personal experience with single women, encouraging them to view this waiting period as a blessing—a time to discover themselves, prepare for future marriage, and avoid unnecessary heartbreak by seeking love in the wrong places.

If you’re single, let me remind you: You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 119:34). You are a gem! There’s no need to prove your worth to anyone because you are already beautiful and valuable in God’s eyes and to those who truly care about you. You deserve a Godly man who will protect, love, and cherish you. You are worthy of a partner with whom you can share a healthy, loving marriage.

If God has placed the desire for marriage in your heart, remember that He has a beautiful plan for you. No matter your age, enjoy each moment and trust the process. Use this time to pursue your dreams and passions, and most importantly, don’t lose hope. When God makes a promise, He will fulfill it in His perfect time.

I used to look for love in the wrong places. I dated guys and ended up heartbroken. It was an endless cycle. I even fell into worldly thinking—believing that if I accomplished more, pushed myself harder, and became what they wanted, they would love me and see me as valuable. I tried so many things to fit in, thinking that if I became who they wanted, they’d love me, but I ended up feeling empty.

I thought my journey would end there, but God used that emptiness to draw me closer to Him. He showed me that I was already loved and filled my heart. Over time, I realized the only one I truly needed was Him. When I embraced this, His sovereignty led me to my husband. He blessed the broken road! Through my husband, I learned that with God, even a story that seems to have no happy ending yet isn’t finished. In previous articles, I described rekindling my relationship with God as a re-crowning moment where I saw my true worth.

Though I cherish how God called me, I now realize I would have been happier and better off if I hadn’t been distracted by wrong paths that led to heartache. So, I want to share some things I would tell my younger self, and I’d love to share them with you:

1. Be healed. If you come from a broken family or have a painful past that makes trusting difficult, focus on healing before seeking love. If there’s still healing to be done, it can sabotage future relationships. Prioritize your well-being, and ask God to reveal areas in your life that need healing.As a married woman now, I’ve learned that love is about two healed individuals. The goal is to build a family—one that carries beauty, not scars from unhealed wounds. Your future children deserve the best version of you.
2. Forgive and be forgiven. Life is not perfect, and forgiveness is essential to keeping love alive. Forgiving others allows you to make peace with yourself and release unresolved hurt that could affect your relationships. Forgive not just for others’ sake, but for your own freedom. Let go of the past and free yourself from its chains.
3. Surrender. We often try to control things we can’t. We check on our prayers even though we know God’s timing may be different from ours. Surrendering to God means letting go of control and acknowledging that His will is always what’s best for us. Trust His plan, because when we truly trust Him, we allow Him to take control of our lives.
4. Be Open to God’s Grace. God loves surprising us. Think about the unexpected blessings you’ve received—aren’t they the most fulfilling? God desires to bless us with good gifts, and He wants us to depend on Him. When we open our hearts to His grace, He pours out blessings. Keep your heart open to His surprises, as His rewards often exceed our expectations.
5. Be Intentional. If you’re seeking love, start by focusing on yourself. Work on becoming the best version of yourself—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Make your intentions clear by demonstrating openness to relationships. Go out, meet new people, and expand your social circles. You can’t expect love to find you if you’re not available for it.
6. Think Long-Term. When dating, don’t just date for the sake of it. Date with purpose. Look for qualities in someone that align with your values, dreams, and faith. Set boundaries, communicate your goals, and remember that every decision today affects the future. Date with marriage in mind.
7. Choose Someone Who Shares Your Values. Opposites may attract, but long-term peace in a relationship is built on shared values, faith, and habits. Marrying someone who aligns with you in these areas creates a solid foundation for a lasting, fulfilling relationship.

Singleness Is Not a Curse, It’s a Blessing

Singleness is not a disease; it’s a gift. During this season, God is saving you from the wrong relationships and preparing you for the right one. While you wait, focus on yourself. Pursue your passions, set goals, and accomplish everything you wish to do before transitioning into marriage and motherhood. Transitioning into marriage is challenging if you haven’t made peace with who you are now. Don’t let regrets over unaccomplished dreams hold you back. Use this time to discover yourself and build a strong foundation for your future.

Maximize this beautiful season of singleness, knowing that God has something wonderful planned for you. Be patient, be intentional, and trust His timing. Your story isn’t over yet, and the best is yet to come.