8 Realization of a First Time Mom

Blessed is she who believes that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her. — Luke 1:45

It’s been too long since my last blog post so I’m coming back with an  article about my life after becoming a mom.

My husband and I waited for nine months to see the two red lines in a pregnancy test kit. The feeling was surreal, especially when it happened during the first few days of 2023 — days when we are still planning for what the whole year will be like. Answered prayer on a new year feels like a reaffirmation that God makes all things new (Revelations 21:5) and everything happens beautifully in His time (Ecclesiastes 3:1).

As of this writing, our baby is approaching nine months. He loves flashing his adorable smile, loves peek-a-boo, loves to go on his feet and practice walking. Truth be told, motherhood is the most challenging role, yet the most rewarding. It is challenging because there is a huge learning curve for first time parents, while it is rewarding because my son’s presence is everything and that I never thought I could love like this. I didn’t know what goodness have I done in this lifetime to deserve this tiny human being in my lap.

I am learning from my new role day-by-day. As I continue on this journey, I wanted to share some of my realizations as a first time mom. Realizations that I will ponder in my heart and share to my fellow moms because I know that in one way or another they will experience these, or have experienced these:

1. It’s very important to choose your spouse well. While pregnancy is a wonderful experience, it is inevitable to experience the uncomfortable. Uncomfortable experiences that may be unbearable if I journey alone. Seeing my husband do household chores when I am unable to do much makes me feel guilty and proud at the same time. I appreciate his daily active involvement especially when I gave birth. My husband was stretched from taking care of me (since I delivered via cesarean section) and our baby. With this, I hope and pray every woman will find a responsible and loving man who will ensure that parenthood is a shared responsibility. Someone who will not make pregnancy and postpartum traumatic because I can attest that a baby is happy when the mommy is healthy inside and out.
2. I started to love and understand my parents more. Being a mom myself made me appreciate my parent’s (especially my mother’s) love, care, and feelings. I now understand why honoring parents is part of the ten commandments of God and how  it is the only commandment with a promise (Ephesians 6:2-3). In every phase of parenthood, I remember my parent’s love and sacrifices for me and my siblings. I remember the roller coaster ride of emotions and challenges when they have us. I began to be more grateful to them because though imperfect humans, they tried their best to give us the best life. Now, it’s our turn to be a better version of parents to our child.
3. There is no rest day once you become a mom. When I became a mom, I didn’t know what time of the day it was. It doesn’t matter when I’m well or sick because someone’s life depends on me. With this, my wellness is also a priority. I wanted to become a mother who is present when my child needs me. 
4. Motherhood fast-tracked maturity as a person. I am not the old me who only thinks of herself. Motherhood comes with great responsibility and accountability of raising another human being. It involves a lot of transformative experiences and continuous learning and adaptation leading to personal growth and increased maturity.
5. In everything that I do/I will do, my child is always a consideration. When I became a mom, one of my priorities became the wellness, convenience, and safety of my child. The house should be child friendly and I see to it that everything he needs or might need should be packed in our baby bag if we’re going outside.
6. You can give up everything for the sake of your child. As a mom, you’ll make unrelenting sacrifices. I took a career break to take care of my young family. It was a difficult decision but I felt at peace after doing so. I was affirmed by God through one of my sisters in the community when I asked her about the advantages of being a full time mom and I couldn’t agree more with her. She said that being a full time mom means having more time for kids where I can watch them grow. Aside from this, I will be their main influencer in terms of faith, values, behavior, and habits. There are lots of things to weigh in, and I am blessed to have a kind and supportive husband to journey with me.
7. Perfection doesn’t exist. My husband and I envisioned and did our best to have a normal delivery. However, my water broke early and my cervix didn’t open so we opted for cesarean section delivery. We also planned to exclusively breastfeed our baby, but I was not able to do so until his 6th month. Having a baby means I already have limitations. I also learned that motherhood is a journey, and no matter how hard I try, I will make mistakes. I will continue to have shortcomings and failures.
8. Welcome mother’s instinct. As a first time mom, I received a lot of unsolicited advice and comments. However, I learned to listen or shrug shoulders if needed because being with my child 24/7 means I know my son; I know when he is sleepy, tired, hungry, when to change diaper, and when to put him down.

Becoming a mom for me means I do not own my life anymore as my life becomes my children’s lives. It means devoting my life, my time, and my everything for my children’s sake. Moreover, whatever I do for them will either make or break their future. That is why motherhood or parenthood in general is a huge responsibility. Nevertheless, I will not trade this phase of my life in exchange for something in this lifetime. I read it somewhere, “Life doesn’t come with a manual, but it comes with a mother”. Yes, I am grateful that God allowed me to become a wife and a mother — what a beautiful phase in my life!

Happy Mother’s Day to all moms out there, especially to my fellow first time mom. May God guide and bless us always.